Address Change???

Ok, After several suggestions that I change my address name from JJcancerboy to something else, I am willing to consider it, however, I fear that some people whom I have already told about this address may not be able to find the new site. Despite this fear, I am willing to do it, but you guys have to chose the next name...so throw out some suggestions as a comment to this posting and then we will vote...
If you live in Ohio, please do not vote...also if you are poor, black, jewish or any combination and you live in Florida your vote will not count, sorry not that I am bitter.

JJ
My suggestion...peopleschampion

Cancer Sucks!

Hello all,
I haven't written in a few, because I have been busy with family and I have been really tired the last few days. Predisone, a steroid that is used for a lot of different things, sucks to be on, but it sucks worse to be off. I helped with both my energy level and my appetite, both of which have gone down since tapering off of it. The funny thing is that if I get into remission and do the transplant I will be back on steroids in a few weeks. Up and down, up and down...it is enough to go crazy, but I'm not crazy clowns really are trying to kill me....

I do not have the greatest of all updates for you.

On Thursday we met with my transplant doctor, Dr. Miller. It was a long four-hour affair and I walked away with a headache and heartache. He told us that because my disease is so aggressive (as evidenced by the short relapse time, the inability to go into remission after the first four weeks of treatment, and amount of treatment I have already received) my chances of living without a transplant are zero. With the transplant, my chances of surviving 2-3 years are only about 20-25%. Each time something goes wrong, like if I am not in remission after my next biopsy, which is on Wednesday, my chances of survival go down. Despite this blow, we are pushing on and working towards the transplant.

If I do not go into remission, I will do a round of High Dose Ara-c, a chemotherapy drug. If this does not work the only option is an experimental treatment that only one other person has done…one in the whole world…luckily they did it at Fairview.

Obviously this is sober news, but the fight is not over, not even close. Send me your love, energy, and prayers and we will beat this thing together.

I love you all,

JJ

Love transcends everything

Saturday August 27th,
Our family had a pow wow of sorts today. We had good food, good company, and love. Throughout the day there was a common goal: to bring JJ love and happiness. We accomplished this goal I think. Yet, we also tried to accept the next few days, weeks, and months which we all must endure. I will let my hero aka cancerboy, aka JJ, aka Justin tell you all what was said and what that means to all of us walking the path with him. I can tell you the fight is not over and I don't know that it ever will be. Life is so funny, we try to do what is right, what brings us joy, and live each day without a thought of hardship or pain or cancer. Yet, these negative aspects of life are very real, very scary, and need to be addressed with candor. With this in mind, I, no, our family (whom includes everyone that reads this blog) needs the positive encouragement we have unselfishly given each other since the begining. Without each other no one especially JJ will survive. It is truly amazing that during the worst of times the best in people emerges. Empathy and the good will of people will never die. For the first time in my life I can truly say that I love people I have never met. What you have done and will continue to do for my brother is a debt I can never repay. Please know that you are the best of people, compassion is a gift, never stop giving it. I know in my heart what ever happens in the near future will depend upon the love we have all so evidently shown JJ. I challenge you to never stop giving that love, no matter what depths cancer brings us to. JJ has touched all of our souls and no matter what happens to him, use this gift he has given you, cherish it, never let it go, let him see it in you. My words only scratch the surface of the feelings we are all going through, yet they need to be said.
Forever in your debt---Brother

French Silk and the Chocolate Chips

Hi.
I just finished a big slice of French Silk Pie from Baker's Square...yummy.
Throughout this (understatement I) ordeal, I have been filled with many (understatement II) emotions, one that I did not anticipate feeling so much, and as a response to both positive and negative things, is Awe. Many things have awed me. Some simple, some profound, some terrifying, some joyful. Today, I had a healthy dose of both positive and negative AWE.

I am awed by the generosity every one of you has shown me; I am awed by your presence and by your love. I cherish you, but tonight, someone who I have associated with only on a professional level awed me. Tonight, I was awed by Jackie, my home-care nurse.

On Tuesday, as a aside, she mentioned that she and some friends were going to the State Fair, she casually threw out that she would buy me some Sweet Martha’s Cookies, TM. I said yeah a few (thinking 1 or 2 would be great). Tonight, after a long hard day at the (Doctor’s) office, which felt more like 12 rounds of boxing than it did a consultation, I was settling down for a bowl of Frosted Flakes, TM. Before the Strawberry Yo-J, TM (can’t have milk) was poured a strange Mini-van pulled into the driveway, and the doorbell rang (actually, it was more of a buzz), I went to the door, at 9:30 at night, and there was Jackie standing, silhouetted by the shine of the headlights, with a huge grin that only nurses have, looking like the Goddess Tara, holding out a bucket filled with still warm Chocolate Chip cookies. My God, I was floored…I didn’t even know what to say. Her friends, whom she went to the fair with were waiting for her in the car…she made them stop here on their night out to give me warm cookies! I am sure that significance of this is not lost on any of you, but let me elaborate on this awe-some incident of generosity and love.

This was not a family member, this was not a ‘friend’ in the usual sense of the word, this was someone who is paid to show me how to take care of the tube in my chest. My god, the love that this woman holds, the compassion she emanates is truly awe-inspiring. As if I needed further proof that nurses are the greatest people on earth.

As I face life and death simultaneously, it is good to know that love and generosity are alive, and that the power of compassion is limitless…

Electric Kool-aid

Greetings,
Today I was poisoned again...destroying the world to save it...by the old kool-aid day-glo danuomyacin. I went down smoothly, I even had a delicious donut while getting infused, but am now feeling a bit run down and a bit Nauseous and chemotherapied. It is hard to explain this feeling to someone who has never been through chemo., but you just feel like something is wrong...like you have been poisoned. It is perhaps similar to when a woman becomes pregnant and before she tests herself, she just kind of feels different, or after you eat that slice of pizza that you smelled and it smelled ok, but in reality had been sitting in the back of the fridge for weeks (you know you have done it).
Beautiful day again today...ahh Minnesota!

Love,
JJ

New Feature

Hello all,
It is a beautiful Minnesota day today...ahh, so this is why we live here!
You can now email a posting to someone or to yourself by clicking on the little envelope thingy.
I also hope that I fixed the picture thing...My mother, who keeps me quite updated on the status of my blog, sometimes with several calls a day...;), told me that she could not see the pictures. Can you now? I hope so, cause I am fresh out of ideas. Must contact blogmaster Tyler.

I know I promised to finish a series a few days ago, I am going to try to work on it today, but I also need to finish a few books I am reading. One is The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy...oh my God, if you have not read this book, you must, I usually try not to recommend books, like I am some expert on fine writing, but she has stunned me more times with the beauty of her writing than anyone, but, of course, my beloved Faulkner. She is, however, the only person to make my heart stop, breath stop, and cause me to re-read a section for the pure beauty of the writing. Go outand buy this book, you will not miss the $13.00.

That is all for now, I must go shower, I stink. Gotta love chemo coming out of the pores. And Tara is wailing...again. Deaf (sorry, hearing impaired) cats are louder than full-hearing cats...scientific fact.

Love,
JJ

Oh, yeah, I just read that Pat Robertson called for the assaination of President Chavez of Venezuela...I am sure he meant that in the most Christ-like way possible. What would Jesus Bomb? As Stuart Davis, songwriter, says in one of his songs, WWIII, He would 'bomb your ass with love'.

ATTENTION: Usually the blog is posted down to up, but to show a continuity of pictures please start here and go down.

My friend Steve and I went to a Cambodian Buddhist Monastery yesterday in Hampton, MN. This is a stop on a worldwide tour of several very important Holy Buddhist Relics, including many Tibetan Masters and Relics of the Buddha Himself. You will see a picture later of me being blessed by a Monk. Here is a Stupa out in front of the Monastery. How Fortunate that I got out of the hospital when I did, they were only here for two days!
A relic, which are also prevalent in Catholicism, are usually either ashes from the cremated remains or actual body parts of dead spiritual masters, such as saints. They are thought to hold great religious power.

Here I am standing in front of a Statue of the Buddha in the Stupa.

This is Steve Standing in front of the Stupa which is in front of the Monastery

This is the Shrine Building in which the Relics were being displayed.

Here is a picture of the shrine behind the display table.

Here am I, mask and all, being blessed for a long life, good health, and happiness by a monk using Shakyamuni Buddha's relic. This was an amazing experience and has only re-energized my spirit, my devotion to Buddhism, and my passion to fight leukemia. Still in Bliss.

Before you walked around the table folks had the opportunity to be purified by bathing a statue of the Buddha. Here you see a monk doing this.

Here is a picture of the table and display that many of the Relics were on. People walked around it.

Here is a display of several relics of important Tibetan Buddhist Masters, including Marpa, Tsongkhapa, Longchempa, Atisha, Milarepa, Gyalwa Ensapa, and The First Karmapa. This will mean more to some of you than it will to others.

Home Again

Quick note: They released me early due to good behaviour. Actually, I bribed them with 45 cents and I threatened to start pooping in my bed if they would not let me leave. So, I am home at my mom's house, which if anyone would like to send a card or anything, the address is 14837 Crestview Ave. Rosemount, MN 55068. I know I know crazy people out there and all, but my cat has her front claws and they can get pretty sharp. Plus, we have five bottles of ketchup, which should distract them for awhile anyways.
I plan on finishing my series I started on facing decisions tomorrow so look for that. Also, tomorrow I am going to be blessed by some of Buddha's relics. And I think we might go to the Peguins movie and my bro is coming over. Big day, good day.

Love you all,
Free again,
JJ

wisdom from the lyrical scientist

Hey everyone! Tylers comment quoting Bob Dylan has inspired me to leave you with more of the "lyrical scientists" words. Words that not only do I find pertinent to JJ's current situation, but words I try to live by everyday. " I will not go down under the ground. 'Cause sombody tells me that death's coming round. And I will not lay myself down to die. When I go to my grave my head will be high. Let me die, in my footsteps, before I go down under the ground." To me these words do not mean that death is inevitable, but rather should be fought with every fiber, thought, and means at our disposal. These words hold so true to JJ because he could have given up during the fight of this horrific disease countless times. JJ has never given up this fight, and he never will. I think he has inspired everyone he has met and known during this fight, with his gentle courage, and passion for love and life. I don't know what anyone else uses for the definition of hero, but he has my vote any day of the week. My sincere thanks to everyone who has encouraged, visited, prayed for, donated to, and most of all loved my hero, my brother.

Biopsy news

Well all, I was hoping to come on and tell you that my leukemia biopsy results were wonderful and better than we expected. Unfortunately, quite the opposite is true.
We wanted the precentage of leukemic blasts to be under 10%. This means that less than 10% of the blood in my marrow would be leukemia (cancer). If this was the case, we would have moved on to the next four week stage of treatment. 20% was the upper range at which the prognosis would not be looking so good. Between 10% - 20%, they would continue with the treatment I got over the past 4 weeks.
My precentage is 17. This is higher than I expected, so I am a little irked, sad, disappointed, but not high enough to overly concerned. So, I am actually recieving another dose of daunomyacin (the kool-aid stuff, see below) as we speak. They are going to give me this dose and the another next wednesday and then do another biopsy after that to see where we are.
Something that has helped me to get through these difficult, and all too ambiguous, days (etc.) (besides my belief in Buddhism) is something I read in a wonderful book by my favorite living philospher Ken Wilber called Grace and Grit. This book is about his journey through the treatment and eventual death of his wife Treya from breast cancer. She came up with this wonderful way of approaching everyday and her treatment, deeply based on her experiences and on Buddhism. She calls it Passionate Equanimity. I plan on talking about this in a future posting, but just as a start, she defines it as To work passionately for life, without attachment to results. Chew on that, I hope it helps for all of you who love me. I will speak more of this later I promise.
I love you all,
(Warning boxing analogy coming on) Those this is a setback, I haven't even touch a knee to the canvas, just got dazed. Boxers are more dangerous when they have been hurt. Watch out leukemia!!!
JJ

How to comment

My mother has made me aware that some of shall we say her generation ;) are having troubles commenting on the website.
To write a comment, click on comment below my posting and there will be a box to the right side. Make your comment and push send? or post?

Thanks,
JJ

Quick Correction

For some reason it says that the last post was from mjensen, it was not, it is from Cancerboy. Still new to this whole blog thing.
JJ

Biopsy

My friends on the path,
Yesterday was the last day of my first 28 day treatment regmine. The first consisted of three different chemo drugs; vincristine, peg-asparginase and daunomyacin. I only got one injection (in my butt) of the peg-asparginase, three of the vincristine (it was stopped because it was doing too much damage to my nervous system, and all four of the daunomyacin. I have had all three of these drugs before last time. I also took prednisone, which is a sterioid (yes I am huge now), but I am starting to taper off from that today (prednisone is used for lots of different things, but one thing it does is to prevent some types of tumors from growing, which is a good thing (although leukemia is considered a 'liquid' tumor, solid tumors can form in certain places, like the pancreas).
Since it was the last day of the first stage of treatment, they also performed a bone marrow biopsy. Despite all of our advancments in medical technology, this brutal procedure is really the only way to how much, if any, leukemia is still left in my marrow.
The procedure starts with them giving you some premeds, versed and fentanyl (spelling?), one is pain blocker and one just makes you cool. Kind of like 'whatever you want to do, go ahead, baby'. After these have had a chance to take control, and it takes a lot for me, they flip me over on my stomach. They take to biopsy from the pelvis because it is the closest bone to the surface of the skin, thus easiest access. So they clean the site up the inject a whole bunch of lidocaine into the skin, pelvis bone and membrane surrounding the pelvis bone. After this has had a chance to take effect, they start the drilling. When I first heard this, I thought electric drill and imagine something out of the too many horror movies I have seen. However, it is long thingy that they almost corkscrew into my pelvis. They then pull out a core smaple of the pelvis bone. After this they aspirate the bone marrow, which means they suck out some of the juice. Surprisingly, this is the most painful part of the whole procedure, as my mother's hand would likely confirm. That is just about it, they clean me up, put a bandange on, and I am done.
I have not recieved any news yet. The full report takes several days, but my doc is going to look at some smears and try to get an early estimate to see where we go from here.
There are four basic things that can happen from here. I could have more than 20%leukemic blasts in my marrow. This is worst case scenario and highly unlikely. This would require a whole new prespective on my outlook.
Second, I could have somewhere between 10-20% leukemic blasts...this would likely mean more of the same drugs I am on now to get me to below 10%.
Third, I could have less than 10% leukemic blasts in my marrow, this is the second to best scenario. This means we go ahead with the second phase of treatment, called intensification. This is another four week treatment plan using three? different drugs, one of which needs to be injected directly into my spine!! Oh yeah, it is that fun! This would be the right path to go to go for my cordblood transplant.
Lastly, I could, possibly, have 0% leukemic blasts in my marrow. This, of course, would be great, but I beleive the treatment outlook would likely look the same. So, most likely I will be here for another 4 weeks.
If my marrow looks good I would likely start the new treatment today or tomorrow, I will let you all know the results and future as soon as I know.
I hope all of you are in good health and enjoying the outside.
I love you,
JJ 'the magical monk in 519'

Cheese curds ar good

Hey all,
I had a good day today. My mom, Bill and Sara took me foe a walk outside by the river. I, in the wheelchair and they pushing me with Al Baxter (my IV pole). Other than Sara running straight into the door in front of 30 or so people, everything went relatively smoothly.
Moe brought me some fresh chees curds and oh yes they squeaked an oh yes they were good. In fact, even though I am not really hungry I am going to get some, cause they are just soooo good and salty, nummmy nummy.

Love ya all,
jj

Poison to live to die

The second choice is rather more simple. It would be the choice to recieve induction treatment to give me several more weeks, perhaps, months and then wait for death to come. I can see the validity in this decision, if the prognosis was really bad. This is rather more straightforward in other types of cancer, such as a breast cancer. One can be put into stages. There are no such stages in leukemia. I was never told, nor could I be told that I am in stage 4 leukemia. This makes leukemia a bit of an elusive cat. You think you see its tail across the field and all the while its been rubbing against your legs. In other words, in leukemia, things could be 'going bad' and they make a dramatic turn for the better. This happened to me the first time. I was horribly sick and the situation looked to getting worse and then poof (I am sure it wasn't poof to those around me) and I started to get better. In the same vein, things could be looking great and a virus or bacteria makes it home and you die quickly. Or sometimes the 'strain' of leukemia you have is particularly virulent. Things can happen so quickly that planning with leukemia is nearly impossible. This choice also was never a real choice for me.

Opting for death

This choice...do not recieve any treatment and simply die within days...weeks, did not seem like an option. That said, there were many times during those first days that I knew I was sick again, before I told anyone, that those very thoughts came to mind. Relapse? Already? How could I go through a transplant and six months later relapse? It just didn't make sense. I was extremely sad. Grief took over me, a darkness I had not felt, though I have been depressed, at least clinically, most of my life. But, I thought things were going fine? All the tests...all of those painful biopsies said that I was 'cured'. How was this happening?
And then, then, I was just pissed. Who the f*** do you think you are leukemia? So, this is what it comes down to again, me and you...again. How dare you invade my life again. How dare you scare my mother and sadden my Sara, how dare you try to take Cammy's uncle away.
This tragic mixture of saddness, grief, and anger was, and sometimes still is, stifiling. Like an emotional, spiritual coma. The chances of beating leukemia again, after I was told that I fought so well last time and did everything I could last time, but 'failed', seemed impossible. I do not think that I ever could have chosen to just do nothing as far as medical treatment at that time, but my thoughts consistently came back to if not cured and not 50 more years, what's the point?
There were many times last battle that I wished for death...begged for death to take me...the pain, the despair was just far too great, too overwhelming. And there were times this time, when my chest hurt and my hips were starting to hurt...bascially when I knew I was sick again, but before it was confirmed by Dr. Moran and Monica, that most of my thoughts were, I cannot do this again. I would rather die than have to feel that sick again. And these thoughts, though not anywhere near dominant, still exist today.
However, this first choice of life/death was simply not acceptable to me at the time. I can now simply see that as the selfish option. I try not to place this judgement on others going through a life-threatening disease and this says absolutely nothing about my opinions on euthanasia (of which I will share later). But, for me, if someone finds out they have cancer or have relapsed and simply throws up their hands and says 'Lord take me'...one is, I was, purely acting for my own well-being. Selfishness is not the way to all-embracing love...it is the way to hurt and pain. For though I may have decreased what would have be and will be temporary pain, the scars I would have left in the hearts of my family and friends, and the confusion I would have brought them hardly seems worth it.
My love,
JJ

Living for death...Dying for life

When I relapsed my doctor, whom I still love, honor and cherish for all that he has done for my family and my self, told me that I might not have more than 6-8 months to live (which would be about January). At that point, my family and I knew that they could no longer do anything more for us. Leaving Dr. Moran and Monica in Boulder, and Dr. Brunvand was a terribly difficult and excruciating desicion, but one that came relatively easily. The pain on his face and the disappointment I could feel in his soul...the tears that fell from Monica onto my back as she drilled me for the last time (the biopsy that would tell us what we all already knew), reinforced for all us that we needed to go home. We needed to be with our family. At this time, I believed that I was going home to die...and this is still where I want to die. The soul seems to know where it needs to be when it finds itself distressed.
I never thought that death would be so much of a choice. For instance, I could have chosen no treatment and I would likely be dead by now. Second, I could chose to try to go into remission and wait for death to come knocking. Third, I could try for remission and do maintainence chemo and wait light to come streaming out of the tunnel, or I could go into remission and do a cord blood transplant.
Before we knew that I would be a good match for a cord blood transplant...I was went through several stages of death, or a least stages of chosing death. I would like to go through them, but I will do them individually, just try to keep me on track.

Please note that our choice to come here had nothing whatsoever to do with being disappointed with any doctor or nurse we have ever had. They are all a tremendous part of my heart and always will be.

Tyler and I during his visit today. It was really good to see him and he taught me all sorts of bloggin magic. Hence, this picture.

This is my first blog picture taken by Tyler about 1 minute ago. Yeah!!

Little info on cord blood transplants

What is Umbilical Cord Blood Transplantation?
Blood-forming stem cells circulate in the unborn baby and placenta and home to the bone marrow within hours of birth. Stem cells captured in the cord and placenta are collected and stored by Cord Blood Banks around the world. These stem cells are now available for transplantation, making transplant therapy available for almost anyone, especially for those with rare HLA types.

Compared to using an unrelated bone marrow donor, the use of cord blood for transplantation has a number of advantages:
Less need for a perfect tissue type HLA match
More rapid availability
Low risk of contamination of cord blood with common viruses
Lower risk of graft-versus-host disease (GVHD)
Easy to harvest without risk to the newborn donor or mother

Umbilical cord blood (UCB) is collected from healthy newborns at birth, frozen and stored in cord blood banks worldwide. Information about the cord blood unit is placed on a registry. If it matches a patient needing transplant, it can be shipped to University of Minnesota Medical Center, Fairview (formerly Fairview-University Medical Center) for transplant. After thawing, it is infused into the patient much like a blood transfusion.

Preimplantation genetic diagnosis is another exciting technique being pioneered by John Wagner, M.D., Professor, Department of Pediatrics at the University of Minnesota and one of the world’s leading experts on cord blood transplantation, to identify healthy sibling donors for patients. This may be used for patients with Fanconi Anemia, thalassemia, sickle cell disease, Hurler's syndrome, adrenoleukodystrophy and a number of other inherited diseases. It is being considered by families who have children with leukemia. It is important to consult with a transplant physician about this option to determine whether it is an appropriate option for the individual patient.

Umbilical Cord Blood Transplant ResearchUniversity physicians are researching a number of strategies in the transplantation of adult patients with cancers using UCB. Adults experience more complications after transplantation than children and develop more severe GVHD after BMT. UCB is an attractive stem cell source for adult patients as it may cause less GVHD and pose a lower risk of infection than unrelated donor bone marrow.

However, a major obstacle with cord blood transplantation in larger children and adults has been the limited number of stem cells in the cord blood collection. If too few cells are available, there is a greater chance of life-threatening complications. Dr. Claudio Brunstein, Assistant Professor, Department of Medicine, is investigating the transplantation of two partially matched cord blood collections from different donors to increase the number of stem cells transplanted to adult patients.

Another approach involves a lowerdose chemotherapy and radiation treatment prior to UCB transplant for patients who cannot tolerate the high doses of chemotherapy and radiation used in conventional transplants. These two studies show very promising results with high rates of engraftment and a low incidence of graft-versus-host disease.

Fairview-University Blood and Marrow Transplant Program
Affiliated with the University of Minnesota
Since the first bone marrow transplant was performed by University of Minnesota physicians in 1968, our program has continually developed new ways to improve outcomes of patients undergoing blood and marrow transplantation (BMT). Our physicians have performed increasing numbers of umbilical cord blood transplants since 1994, making our program one of the largest cord blood transplant centers in the world. In 2000, we performed the world’s first related UCB transplant using preimplantation genetic testing to ensure a perfect tissue match. We are now pioneering unique treatment strategies to improve the effectiveness of UCB transplantation, particularly for adults who are at high risk for complications after unrelated donor marrow transplant. Our patients are treated by a team of experts specializing in UCB, applying leading-edge research developed by University of Minnesota Physicians.

We individually tailor our care to meet the unique needs of each patient and family.
Dr. John Wagner, Professor, Department of Pediatrics at the University of Minnesota and one of the world’s leading experts on cord blood transplantation, performed the first cord blood transplant for leukemia in 1990 and has continued his leadership in the field since coming to the University of Minnesota in 1991. He established the International Cord Blood Transplant Registry in 1992. Wagner, who is also scientific director of clinical research of the Blood and Marrow Transplant Program and Stem Cell Institute, was instrumental in the creation of the Midwest’s first public umbilical cord blood bank in 1999 — a joint effort of the University of Minnesota, Fairview Health Services and the American Red Cross.

Claudio Brunstein, M.D., Assistant Professor, Department of Medicine, is leading research at the University of Minnesota that explores transplantation of two partially HLA-matched umbilical cord blood units from different donors to increase the cell dose — a factor shown to predict survival outcomes.

Comments

Hey,
I was told that one had to register to add comments. I believe that I just changed that. You should be able to just add your comments without too much hassle. I hope...
Sara is bringing a cord so I can hook my laptop up to the computer today. This will allow me to write much more. So, I will wait for that cord for an update.
I love you all,
JJ

PS Thank you mom...your love is amazing.

Three in one

First of all, more on this tomorrow, but I wanted to share with you all that we recieved very good news today. I was matched to two different umbilical cord blood stem cell donations. That means that I will once again be going through what is considered by most in the medical field around the world as the most god-awful procedure known to modern medicine...a blood stem cell (bone marrow) transplant.
It is hard to believe that even though I am feeling well right now, in what could be less than a month I will be on my deathbed sick, only to heal me...hopefully.

Love,
JJ

Dayglo poison and WD40

Well, JJ enters the realm of Blogging after an inspired phone conversation with lifelong buddy Tyler. He started one to document the pregnancy and birth and life of his beautiful girl Zoey.
So, I decided to commit myself to documenting my second fight with current welterwieght champion of the world...leukemia!!
Seeing as this is the first, and it is getting late for this evening primrose, well, not too late, but Mr. Faulkner is calling me, I will make it short and sweet. I am not sure what I will put on this and I am not sure how often, but if I do get a cord that can hook up from my laptop to the computer, I may be on her 24 hours a day...non-stop dry wit and dry heaves...moments of clarity (Death is but a fickle fart on the gastric bypass of the universe) and assorted pseudo-intellectual rambleings of a cancer patient on too much morphine, or is it not enough?
Ahh, life in the big city.
I got my last poison (I believe the euphemism of the day is chemotherapy) of my first phase of treatment today. That was Danorubicin, which is a nice organgish-reddish chemical, similar to various flavors of kool-aid, but for suredly, not something that should be going directly into the bloodstream. The things we do for love and life. I am hoping they let me go home next week, but I do start phase two of the treatment on monday so probably not, stranger things have happened.
Well, more later, me tired and sweating a lot. Pee is red what could be better, ahh, yes, MIRALAX...the throne beckons...