The Finger and the Moon

Alright so it has been awhile since I have written one here, but instead of apologizing I am just going to go ahead and write something.
Something that I have noticed is that besides my Bu-crew down in Boulder, the majority of people reading this blog, sending me emails, doctors, nurses and family are Christian or non-religious. Now I certainly know what it means when someone says they are praying for me. I love that...I thank you so much for your prayers and this email is not meant for you, nor is it meant as a diatribe against non-Buddhists (my mother is a non-Buddhist, give me a break) it is meant more as a song of loneliness from a Buddhist, whom misses his community and feels disconnected from his sangha. I love my family (that goes without saying) and they have been my greatest support, but none of them knows me as a Buddhist. No body here understands what I mean when I say emptiness or impermanence, or inter-being, or can correctly pronounce Sariputta.
I am so glad we moved back here to be with our families, but I did not know how much I would miss having a Sangha-a group of Buddhist practitioners to talk to. Beyond this people who really should not be making religious comments to me have asked why I don't love Jesus, Why I don't believe in God? Etc...
My beloved Sara Is really the only one here who knows me as a Buddhist...Knows that this is a huge, substantial part of my being...Who knows the transformation I have gone through because of Buddhism. Buddhism has taught me how to live, love, and die. I am sorry if this has come harshly or feels like too much whinnying, but who better to express my inner thoughts to than everyone I know.

While I was reading a hagiography of the Buddha written by Thich Nhat Hanh last night I came across this passage. Buddha is speaking to an ascetic (Hindu religious man) Dighanakha. Dighanakha asks the Buddha if he has any doctrines or dogmas. The Buddha replies " Once a person is caught by belief in a doctrine, he loses all his freedom. When one becomes dogmatic, he believes his doctrine is the only truth and that all other doctrines are heresy. Disputes and heresy all arise from Narrow views...Attachment to views is the greatest impediment to the spiritual path.
He then goes on to tell a tale of a widower who leaves his child at home while he goes to work. Some criminals go to his house and kidnap his kid and burns down his house. He comes home and finds the charred body of a child was found outside his house, he cremates what is left of his son and keeps the ashes. Several months later, while the man is crying over his lost child, his son breaks free and comes home, but the man refuses to believe that it is his son and refuses to open the door.
The Buddha says "Thinking that we already possess the truth, we will be unable to open our minds to receive the truth..."
Dighanakha asks him "well, what about your own doctrines?"
The Buddha replies, "My teaching is not a doctrine or philosophy...It is the result of direct experience...You can confirm them all by your own experience...My goal is not to explain the universe, but to help guide others to have a direct experience of reality."
Dighanakha then asked him, "What if someone perceives your teaching as a dogma?"
Buddha replies, "...My teaching is a method to experience reality and not reality itself, just as a finger pointing at the moon is not the moon itself." The story goes on from there to expound more upon this topic but I think this is enough.

It has reminded me that sometimes I can be closed off to things foreign to me, that often I take someone's for it, without checking it out myself, That I must open myself even more to the truth that is found in this path that I am on, that I can learn a lot from cancer, That I can teach you something even though we are of different religions, that some of the people that I know need to open themselves and to stop believing only they are right, that perhaps there would be less conflict if we came to conversation with an empty tea-cup--ready to be filled.
Does it say anything to you?

With All My Love,
JJ