This blog is dedicated to my journey from my relapse with Leukemia through an umbilical cord blood transplant. And has now transformed into a blog of raves and rants, with ants in my pants...totally live, and always fresh and nude.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Today is the Chinese New Year, the year of the Dog...well for our new year party (on the 1st of January) I, of course, had to stick around here, so my mom and Bill came out and Sara joined us for a pretty serious game of scrabble. Interrupted by the whole ball dropping thing. Good game nonetheless. This is picture they took of me after I passed out from all of the Sparkling orange juice...I'm not ashamed, we've all been there.
The babies are growing, and I feel blah
I woke up with an acute pain in my abdomin this morn...if we can figure out all of these pains and such I should be able go home sometime soon.
Love,
JJ
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Prayers coming in.
Back inn the saddle again
Must live moment to moment, ah, yes, Buddha, was right. The network lady came today and we are back online. For now at least, but, now is all that matters. I hope everyone is doing fine.
I am in a bit of pain because I had a Bone Marrow Biopsy and Aspiration done at noon today. I think I have described this procedure before, so I will not at length here (basically, the numb yourskin above the pelvis bone on and then numb the underlying bone. They then take a core sample out and then suck a bunch of liquid (marrow) out) they do this now to see where in the engraftment stage I am at. We should get some results in the next few days. Regardless of those results, I am starting a new growth factor today to charge up my marrow and urge to make new stem cells and hence new bloodcells.
Other than that, I have been doing fairly well, in fact, better than I expected to be feeling. I am still having a lot of pain, but pain is always temporary so no big deal (of course, narcotics are also helping with that.) They are not why I am experiencing pain, it is either my gall bladder (which amazingly not enflamed at the moment, or just staying in bed too long. At night it is intense, but no worries, like I said it always passes. I have also had a cough since christmas that does not seem to be getting any better (hard to without an immune system) but does not seem to be getting worse either...although today I am coughing more than the last few days.
Some tremendous things have been happening as well. My beautiful Sara had her first day of classes today at the U of M. She is taking three courses Statistics, Abnormal Psychology, and Patho-physiology. I looked through that book...gross pictures...although I have had some of those diseases before. So, i guess I am kind of gross too. Also, my brother John stayed the night the other day and we watched a movie together. He got to experience what it is like to live at a hospital, which is bad, but I am sure he appreciates how hard this is now.
Lastly, my Buddhist practice has never been better. For the first time in the nine years or so I have been a Buddhist, I am ready to for a Teacher-student relationship. This relationship is crucial for the Tibetan Buddhist practitioners, and, although I have had many teachers in my life, this relationship will be different. Now I need him to take me on as a student. This will likely be a long process, but I am very excited and I have never felt so good that this is the right religion for me. I have seen clearly how Buddhism helps me, by how I interact with other people.
I hope you liked my little update. I love you all and you make me strong. Send prayers for good results to the biopsy.
Love,
JJ
Thursday, January 12, 2006
Wristbands
JJ
SHHHHHHH
PS I am shut down for a few days hopefully no longer than that.
Wednesday, January 11, 2006
Monday, January 09, 2006
Christmas in the Hospital
Christmas in the Hospital
Friday, January 06, 2006
Hey all,
Well since I have been here, things have been up and down. I felt very isolated from you all because of not having access to my blog. You were amazing, I felt so much love from you all, through all of the bells, cards, checks, and all of you wearing JJ's Compassion Crew Wristbands. If you are still looking for wristbands, we just ordered a bunch more, so you can one, or, if you already have one, buy a couple more and give or sell to friends. I can picture you all out there as part of a crew keeping me alive...you have no idea how wonderful this makes me feel.
This place is even more isolating than a normal floor. I am not able to leave my room (except for procedures (x-rays, cat scans, etc.).
There seems to be a great amount of support from the families of patients for each other. Which is great, because I worry so much about my family and how they are getting through this all. They all get there coffee and hang out at the end of the hall. I think it is great for everyone. It would be nice if the patients could do the same, but we would just get each other sick and complain about the food.
I am just starting to get used to all of the rules here, and the severity of the punishments that come with a violation of said rules. I will tell you more about the physical side later on today or tomorrow. And the choose your own adventure is still in the research and development stage.
Thank you for your love,
Cancerboy 'JJ'
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
A Letter of Love to Sara in 24 Movements
Part 1.
I see you across campus in the winter moon, which is obscured by the clocktower’s rays. You are not hard to spot, though we were trying to be inconspicuous. You have your giant weird Peruvian mountain, which I shyly commented to you earlier as being cool, though truly thought was hideous. We write messages of rebellion, I cannot even remember why, but it seemed important enough at the Time. Me semi -eader of ragtag ‘activists’ “I’ll go with sara”, we chalk and laugh, you lightly demonstrate quirks about yourself that I now still both love and deride…ahh, yes, of course, that is the right colour and I apologize for obviously putting this off center.
Snow brushes off a Pine and obscures my sight of your beautiful eyes, I gasp, the snow is gone…yes she is the one. We reconnect with others; you and I head off to my house. Why is she still wearing that stupid hat, we are inside? I guess she likes…I like her, I should learn to like the hat…maybe. Are you hungry? I cook for you for the first time, Butter noodles and Greek seasoning…You smile, I want to melt, but that hat and why is she suddenly so red where the knot is. And then I figure it out…Yes She is the one.
Untie the knot, unite the soul.
Gingerbread House Making
Sara's "contribution" to the Gingerbread house.
Just kidding, I only wanted to add my two favorite, most beautifulest beings on Earth on to my blog.
Also, I may have a choose your own adventure commentary selection party coming out tomorrow. And, Of course a stupid update, blah, cancer, blah, stem cells, blah, blah, gall bladder...
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Gingerbread House Making
Before we went into the hospital for the transplant, I wanted to make a gingerbread house. I have never made one from scratch. Here are some pictures of me making it. You will also see a wonderful overhead view of my beautiful bald head (ahh, God!). For some reason, though she is easier one to look at, you cannot see Sara helping, but she did and she was awesome. Our house rules...I hope we took a final picture.
Love ya,
JJ