Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Back inn the saddle again

At least for now.
Must live moment to moment, ah, yes, Buddha, was right. The network lady came today and we are back online. For now at least, but, now is all that matters. I hope everyone is doing fine.
I am in a bit of pain because I had a Bone Marrow Biopsy and Aspiration done at noon today. I think I have described this procedure before, so I will not at length here (basically, the numb yourskin above the pelvis bone on and then numb the underlying bone. They then take a core sample out and then suck a bunch of liquid (marrow) out) they do this now to see where in the engraftment stage I am at. We should get some results in the next few days. Regardless of those results, I am starting a new growth factor today to charge up my marrow and urge to make new stem cells and hence new bloodcells.
Other than that, I have been doing fairly well, in fact, better than I expected to be feeling. I am still having a lot of pain, but pain is always temporary so no big deal (of course, narcotics are also helping with that.) They are not why I am experiencing pain, it is either my gall bladder (which amazingly not enflamed at the moment, or just staying in bed too long. At night it is intense, but no worries, like I said it always passes. I have also had a cough since christmas that does not seem to be getting any better (hard to without an immune system) but does not seem to be getting worse either...although today I am coughing more than the last few days.
Some tremendous things have been happening as well. My beautiful Sara had her first day of classes today at the U of M. She is taking three courses Statistics, Abnormal Psychology, and Patho-physiology. I looked through that book...gross pictures...although I have had some of those diseases before. So, i guess I am kind of gross too. Also, my brother John stayed the night the other day and we watched a movie together. He got to experience what it is like to live at a hospital, which is bad, but I am sure he appreciates how hard this is now.
Lastly, my Buddhist practice has never been better. For the first time in the nine years or so I have been a Buddhist, I am ready to for a Teacher-student relationship. This relationship is crucial for the Tibetan Buddhist practitioners, and, although I have had many teachers in my life, this relationship will be different. Now I need him to take me on as a student. This will likely be a long process, but I am very excited and I have never felt so good that this is the right religion for me. I have seen clearly how Buddhism helps me, by how I interact with other people.
I hope you liked my little update. I love you all and you make me strong. Send prayers for good results to the biopsy.
Love,
JJ

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi JJ,

One good thing about illness, it makes you practice whether you want to or not! Being in the moment IS all that matters. Who will your teacher be?

I think I brought you this poem (below) once when you were in Boulder, but it's always good to have a reminder:

We are loved by an unending love.
We are embraced by arms that find us
even when we are hidden from ourselves.
We are touched by fingers that soothe us
even when we are too sad for soothing.
We are counseled by voices that guide us
even when we are too embittered to hear.
We are loved by an unending love.
We are supported by hands that uplift us even in the midst of a fall.
We are urged on by eyes that meet us even when we are too confused for meeting.
We are loved by an unending love.
Embraced, touched, soothed, and counseled -
Ours are the arms, the fingers, the voices;
Ours are the hands, the eyes, the smiles.
We are loved by an unending love.
--Rabbi Rami Shapiro

I'm still sending lots of health and vitality chi your way.

Peace, Love, Joy, Ease,
Erica

Anonymous said...

if i would like to send something to the hospital, jj, what is your address????