The Dark Places

Yes, I am brave, I am Strong, and I do not fear death. My mother's gracious words are dead (no pun intended) on. Humbily, I accept her opinion of me and the lessons I have taught her. Gratefully, I must acknowledge that I have learned these from many different teachers. I don't want to get all religious on ya, but most of these lessons I have learned from my gurus or Buddhist teachers, some of whom I have never met, in person that is. Though this next qoute from Thich Nhat Hanh can be seen as depressing, I read it and smile for I am liberated by its truth: "Breathing in and out, I am aware of the fact that I am of the nature to die; I cannot escape dying. I am of the nature to grow old; I cannot escape old age. I am of the nature to get sick. Because I have a body, I cannot avoid sickness. Everything I cherish. treasure and cling to today, I will have to abandon one day. The only thing I can carry with me is the fruit of my own action. I cannot bring along with me anything else except the fruit of my actions in terms of thought, speech and bodily acts."
In our country, most hide from death, we don't even want to discuss it let alone see it. We sterilize our funerals, we are not allowed to see our soldiers who have died coming home in caskets and it took a relapse of leukemia for me to really, fully comprehend the fact that this body I have is not immortal. Death is often seen as a failure, as the end, not as I see it-- as a continuation and, yes, even an opportunity for spiritual growth. But, you are so young...its not fair, I hear a lot, especially from those in the medical field. Yes, I am young and I would like to continue my life, continue to help others, but I might not be able to. I have loved my life, I have led a fruitful and hilarious life. Many of our greatest artists have died young. Rimbaud stopped writting when he was 17. Age is not important, what is important is how we live our life. The central question to any situation should be, if one wants to live a fruitful life, is 'is what I am doing helping relieve the suffering of others, or I am doing this solely out of greed or selfishness?' I often fail this test...way too often. I have not always lived my life to this standard, but I have tried.
I was supposed to talk about the dark places I go and I do go there, I reside there, but I learn there, I take it in and try to transform it, often I fail, but sometimes I don't, sometimes I am able to transform negative energy into positive energy. Now if I can just figure out how to turn coal into gold.

I must go eat lunch.
I love you all,
JJ-The people's champion & number 1 contender for the rock cubed championship