So, I received about 30 to 40 emails from people I didn’t know over the last few days. This got my mysterious stories heart a pumping...CIA...FBI...FEMA...AAA...PTA...NVCR, where could these people be emailing from. It is too early for my Jerry Springer Newsletter, I got the I hate Liberals and ten things I can do to stop them pamphlet last week, and My scholarly journal Ants and Us is not due until next month. Well I brave the possibility of a super virus shutting down Fairview entire computer system and started to open some up. Surprisingly, they all started the same way, "You don't know me but I got your email address from Linda and I have been reading your blog, you are the wisest human being in the world...ever, you have changed my life forever...blah, blah, blah." After thirty minutes or so of basking in the greatness of JJ, I usually try to find something trashy on the TV to bring my massive ego down to Earth...I've got a lot of work to do.
I guess for the first or second time I will try to be serious on this site. After a bout of twitching during my last chemo treatment, the fear of what these drugs can actually do to you was abundantly clear. The fear of what I might look like... or what weird ticks or twitches I will have...will I be up to 100%...will I be in a wheelchair? All became constant thoughts or daymeres.
Then I started to have pain. Pain in my legs, in my arms, in my ankles, knees, in my arms, shoulders, in my upper, middle, and lower back, in my pelvis region including my biopsy site. In you are in a hospital you are suppose to rate your pain on a scale one to ten, ten being the worst most excruciating pain you have ever felt. My pain has been consistently in the 6-9 region, so bad...really, really bad. As I was suffering through some of the worst pain of my life I felt alone and I often push myself into isolation, but just when the pain was at it apex, the loneliness it deepest valley, your emails pulled me back into reality. The love that you have all shown me and my family is truly amazing, especially those that support my mother.
Thank you so much and any love that give ourselves or give to each other gets passed along to others…at least I think so
Long,
JJ
Ps Thanks especially to the person that got me Gift Cert. to AMAZON.com…I LOVE BOOKS!!!!
3 comments:
Wow, JJ, I think you should earn a purple heart for all of your perseverence and bravery in the face of: pain, a truly humbling institution, and those abominable drugs. It seems to me that ticks and twitches or even a wheelchair could not possibly stop the momentum of love that you are generating in that physically confining space. The momentum of your love is reaching out all over the world. And I am awestruck. You rock!
Love, Erica
I'm so very happy that we reconnected these past few months, JJ. Though I thought of you often before, I cannot go through a day w/out getting my daily update from your blog. I know that you need a lot of rest, so I know that I cannot always call you. However, I love that I can send you a note of support and love.
I truly hope that you get as much out of this blog as you give to others through this blog. All visitors are lucky to find their way here. Thank you.
Thinking of you a lot, J.J. DCF
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