French Silk and the Chocolate Chips

Hi.
I just finished a big slice of French Silk Pie from Baker's Square...yummy.
Throughout this (understatement I) ordeal, I have been filled with many (understatement II) emotions, one that I did not anticipate feeling so much, and as a response to both positive and negative things, is Awe. Many things have awed me. Some simple, some profound, some terrifying, some joyful. Today, I had a healthy dose of both positive and negative AWE.

I am awed by the generosity every one of you has shown me; I am awed by your presence and by your love. I cherish you, but tonight, someone who I have associated with only on a professional level awed me. Tonight, I was awed by Jackie, my home-care nurse.

On Tuesday, as a aside, she mentioned that she and some friends were going to the State Fair, she casually threw out that she would buy me some Sweet Martha’s Cookies, TM. I said yeah a few (thinking 1 or 2 would be great). Tonight, after a long hard day at the (Doctor’s) office, which felt more like 12 rounds of boxing than it did a consultation, I was settling down for a bowl of Frosted Flakes, TM. Before the Strawberry Yo-J, TM (can’t have milk) was poured a strange Mini-van pulled into the driveway, and the doorbell rang (actually, it was more of a buzz), I went to the door, at 9:30 at night, and there was Jackie standing, silhouetted by the shine of the headlights, with a huge grin that only nurses have, looking like the Goddess Tara, holding out a bucket filled with still warm Chocolate Chip cookies. My God, I was floored…I didn’t even know what to say. Her friends, whom she went to the fair with were waiting for her in the car…she made them stop here on their night out to give me warm cookies! I am sure that significance of this is not lost on any of you, but let me elaborate on this awe-some incident of generosity and love.

This was not a family member, this was not a ‘friend’ in the usual sense of the word, this was someone who is paid to show me how to take care of the tube in my chest. My god, the love that this woman holds, the compassion she emanates is truly awe-inspiring. As if I needed further proof that nurses are the greatest people on earth.

As I face life and death simultaneously, it is good to know that love and generosity are alive, and that the power of compassion is limitless…